Random Thoughts on Joy
Some time ago, a close friend of mine suggested that I write about joy for a Random Thoughts article. This prompted a new perspective, and a new direction of thinking as “joy” is not a word that I generally use. Perhaps it is time that I did. What is joy, and when, if ever, do I experience it? Is it an innate emotion, a gift from God, a sudden revelation, or a reaction to an event or another person?
Is true joy the result of an experience that is derived only from interaction with forces and events outside of ourselves? I tend to think so. Joy and peace are closely related, although I do not believe they are synonymous. I suggest that peace and serenity are passive experiences of calmness and tranquility, while joy is the result of active participation with forces outside of us. In 1897 Mark Twain said, “Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with.” My only argument there is that I do not feel that joy is divided by sharing it. Rather, it is multiplied!
Upon reflection, I recall waiting in a checkout line where there was a very young child sitting in the seat of the shopping cart in front of me. At first, all he could do was to frown at me, even after I said “hi” to him. But I persisted and said “hi” to him again. Then I smiled at him and even made some silly faces. Then I said “hi” again, and made some more funny faces. Finally, he smiled back at me. It gave me great joy to finally connect with this little two-year old boy that I will undoubtedly never see again. The point being is that we finally “connected.”
Connecting with others is a wonderful opportunity to experience real joy. It can be temporary to be sure, but it is also extremely meaningful in terms of our intimate connection with life. That little boy in the shopping cart was undoubtedly the highlight of my day! We connected – and finally we smiled at each other. Perhaps that is what joy is all about.
I recently had the occasion to visit friends and relatives in Nebraska. While there, four of us attended a concert given by the Omaha Symphony Orchestra. It was held in a soccer stadium where seating was both in the grandstand and on the soccer field itself. There, many families spread blankets on the grass and the little children were able to “run free” during the concert. The music was wonderful, but it was the antics of the children that enhanced our experience. Their dancing, spinning, running and tumbling in time to the music was truly a joyful experience for both the children and us. From that, I have realized that seeing and experiencing the joy in others can indeed be a joyful experience for us as well. Children often exhibit an innate hunger for joy, as well as a passionate and unrestrained search for a true celebration of life. Thankfully I am now of the age that I can rejoice in the antics of young children – hopping around and totally uninhabited because they do not know “how to behave.”
Centuries ago, St. Augustine wrote, “When large numbers of people share their joy in common, the happiness of each is greater because each adds fuel to the other’s flame.” That is exactly what happened at the concert. The cavorting children shared their joy with each other, and that joy quickly spread to the hundreds of adults who were watching and listening.
Also while in Nebraska, I had the opportunity to visit an Assisted Living facility that housed 67 elderly people who were no longer totally self-sufficient. Many of the residents required walkers or wheelchairs, suffered from near blindness, or had some other debilitating condition. Despite that, there was an aura of contentment and peace among them that I had not experienced before. These folks were happy! One evening we played bingo, and the prizes were generally candy bars and other snacks. Once again I observed joy among these old people as they chattered among themselves and sometimes struggled to read the numbers and place down their chips. When they won, they would often give away their prizes to others who had not been so lucky. Truly, there was joy that was derived from the communal experience, rather than the actually winning of a prize.
Perhaps as we mature from childhood we tend to lose that sense of joy and security as the issues of the world press down upon us. Is it hopeless? I have concluded that it is not. To a great degree we can choose our mood and frame of mind. Each morning brings a new day with the opportunity for a fresh start – the option to celebrate the joy of living, or to wallow disconsolately in sadness and misery. If we consciously opt for contentment and inner peace, our lives can be marvelously and positively transformed. Further, we are able to attain a joyous life if we make an effort of participation beyond ourselves.
We cannot embrace ultimate joy while we steadfastly maintain that we are the center of our own personal universe. The critical necessity is to find a belief system that literally frees us from ourselves. By developing the ability to “get outside” of ourselves, we are simultaneously developing the ability to feel inner peace and contentment. All that it takes to experience joy is courage – the courage to let go of ourselves, and to reach out to the universe and beyond.
